Our main biblical focus at Parenting by Design (PBD) is to help parents fulfill the Great Commission given in Matthew 28:19-20, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (NASU).

PBD believes the primary evangelism and discipling responsibility of parents is to their children. Parents have more influence on their kids than any other person in the kids’ lives, and the greatest gift a parent can give is to introduce their children to their Creator. But, it is not as simple as just telling them what to do. Instead, parents are more effective when they use real life experiences as the primary curriculum for learning.

Parents who walk through life alongside their children can use the children’s experiences, the parents’ model or example, and a process of exploration and instruction to help kids come to an understanding of the incredible value of a relationship with God.

In helping parents understand what it means to walk with their children through life, a series of biblical principles found in the Book of James are embedded in PBD’s curriculum.

The first is James 1:2-4, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (NASU).

The importance of trials in spiritual growth cannot be overstated. There is a tremendous value to suffering as a path to maturity because suffering can be used by God to sanctify people in ways that triumphs cannot.

Yet many parents try to prevent their children from experiencing pain in their lives. They rescue them from difficulties or order every aspect of their lives to prevent pain. They cannot save their kids from every trial, however, and this verse tells us it is often not even the most loving thing they can do for their children.

Kids need struggles to grow, mature, and learn how to make decisions and solve problems. Sometimes the most loving act of a parent does not seem very loving, but walking with kids empathetically as they struggle can be a far more effective learning experience.

The second principle taken from James’ letter is James 1:22: "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves" (NASU).

The importance of parents being a good example for their kids cannot be overstated. Parents are their children’s first curriculum on what God is like. Small children form an opinion of the Heavenly Father by watching their earthly parents. These impressions often persist long into adulthood, so it is very important that parents not just tell their children what they ought to do, but to show them how it is done by a Christ-follower.

In addition, parents are a child’s curriculum on what adults are like. Kids will generally do what their parents do far more than doing what their parents say. They are watching everything, so it is important to "walk the talk" and not just "talk the talk".

The third principle is James 1:19-20: "This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God"(NASU).

When parents communicate with anyone, but particularly their children, they must be invested in getting to know them. Kids want to be fully known by their parents, and parents have the responsibility to make that possible by communicating with them empathetically and adopting a stance towards them that is genuinely "curious."

When kids know that parents will gently listen, ask questions to clarify is said, and withhold judgment until they have fully disclosed their innermost thoughts and feelings, they will be much more inclined to talk about the most difficult issues in their lives. Without this attitude of curiosity and empathy, kids are likely to see parents as unsafe to talk to and to withdraw or rebel.