We’ll explore these concepts more thoroughly later in this book, but you’ve probably seen yourself in one of the parenting styles we’ve covered so far. Maybe you recognize yourself as a rescuer or dictator. You’ve probably already noted which patterns will be most difficult to break. If you’re a dictator, you may struggle giving your kids more choices; if you’re a rescuer, you’ll probably have a hard time watching your children suffer consequences. We have different issues, but we’re all in the same boat. We’re flawed parents trying to be balanced and to train our kids in a way that sets them up for success in God’s eyes. God offers grace for parents who are trying to raise kids His way.
We hope this encourages you. We’ve found that wherever you are in the parenting process, it’s not too late to make some changes. For me, it has been a matter of letting go of my need to control and trying to shape our kids according to my designs. For Michelle, the turning point was realizing that struggles are necessary for our kids to grow and mature. For Lee, it was giving more choices and letting his kids have the freedom to fail without being upset or angry. Thankfully God has patience with us as we seek to discover His purposes and plans for our families.
One more thing—as we’ve struggled and grown as parents, we have discovered that we aren’t just parents; we’re also children of our heavenly Father. We are as rebellious with Him as our kids will ever be with us. It is inspiring, frustrating, and educational all at the same time to look at our relationship with our Heavenly Father and to begin to understand what it is like to be a great parent. How does God put up with us? Why does He continue to love us, walk with us, and help us grow when we blatantly rebel against Him? He never leaves us. He has been with us all along, never stepping out of character or losing His composure.
When we see God as our true Father, we have a perfect parenting model. We see how He responds to us with infinite patience, kindness, and love. We see how He sticks by us even when we’ve done things we aren’t proud of. His words in Hebrews 13:5—“I will never leave you or forsake you”—have proven true.
How can we learn to emulate Him? We can start by talking with Him. He’s waiting. He’s available day or night. We cannot stress the value of prayer enough. And we know that if we ask Him, He will help us discover the insight we need to raise our children. We can also learn about God’s parenting style by studying the Bible. He is speaking to us right now, via the Holy Spirit, in the words of Scripture. I am always amazed when I read something in a morning devotional that applies directly to a current problem I have. Spend some time with your Father daily and turn your parenting issues over to Him. He is excited to help you!
