We’ll explore these concepts more thoroughly later in this book, but you’ve probably seen yourself in one of the parenting styles we’ve covered so far. Maybe you recognize yourself as a rescuer or dictator. You’ve probably already noted which patterns will be most difficult to break. If you’re a dictator, you may struggle giving your [...]

I find the next part of the story interesting. Although God established a clear boundary, He didn’t micromanage Adam or force him to be obedient. If it had been me, I would have put that tree on the far side of the Garden, 500 feet in the air and surrounded by heavily armed angels. Every [...]

One of the best examples of God’s parenting style can be found in the story of the Garden in Eden. We’re used to reading it as the story of our origin and how sin entered the world, but when we look at it through the lens of parenting, it’s very instructive. It’s a great overview [...]

Most parents find it difficult to be both firm and loving, but it produces the most well-adjusted children. Following the children of balanced parents through longitudinal studies, researchers tell us these kids are more independent, self-controlled, successful in relationships, and have a more positive outlook on life. In addition, balanced parents express confidence in their [...]

An important key to being a counselor parent is to learn not to fear mistakes. That’s the pitfall of the rescuer and the dictator—they try hard to avoid mistakes. But that hinders the development of their kids. We believe the mistakes children make are opportunities for them to grow rather than a reason for the [...]

Where’s the middle ground between bonding and boundaries? What does balance between a rescuer and a dictator look like? We use the term “counselor” to describe a parent who walks between the two extremes effectively. In the therapeutic setting, a “counselor’s” job is to help a client gain insight into his situation and find the [...]